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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The good, the bad and the ugly.....

FIRST THE BAD: Today I feel much like a prisoner in my own home. Being slightly warmer than the past few days I thought to venture out into our backyard, one of the very reasons we bought this house. As it appears the warden himself has spread fertilizer on the prison grounds. "Just don't let her touch the grass, and put her hands near her face" he says about taking the Princess into the yard. HUH? She is 3 she wants to pick every weed and add it to her "collection", then charge you rocks to view it. (THIS is GOOD, commerce, maybe having the "Apprentice" on while she sleeps is seeping in). Can't go for a walk-too many dogs in the area that we could encounter and violate my weight restriction. Can't trot off to the library or a store in the event of a preschooler meltdown as I would be unable to fireman's carry a screaming meme out to my SUV. So for a man in the custody business he really does his job well keeping his family incarcerated, thanks for fertilizing the grass, now how about me? Sorry couldn't resist that one. He is on my shit list as it is, I can't figure out men, especially this one, I adore him. I asked hm for a date yesterday and he ignored me, kept playing GD poker online. Stay up to chat with him after he arrives home at 11 PM from work, he falls asleep!!!!! This AM have heated discussion as to why his parents (still gone in FLA, thank you God for small favors) does not need to know about my miscarriage. Well for one she (the MIL) is a liar and a gossip, I don't need my situation put out to all your friends parents to filter back to me in some sick twisted way at J's wedding in June. OR make it about her, her loss of a grandchild, poor her, she's devastated. I hate this bitch. And top it all off, he leaves the garbage in the house STINKING!!!!!!!!! Bastard, better pucker up and start kissing my fat ass.

THE GOOD: is that Princess was absolutely fabulous to be around today, playing, eating, loving her Mama, pooping again even the "lotion battle" went well tonight. Must really have some merit to not being full of shit makes you feel good.

THE UGLY: oh Lord, dare I say it can my skin get much worse? I am assuming that my body is still full of out of control hormones. I was very lucky to never have a had a skin problem as a teen, then hopped on the Ortho-Tricyclean band wagon, when I jumped off in September 2003, after my sisters wedding, silly thinking we'd get pregnant right away, and that TTC would be a breeze after all Princess was conceived while on the pill??????????????????????????????? My skin has never looked worse. Maybe I'll try that Proactiv stuff I see the person I most like to switch places with for the day hawking, Jessica Simpson, yes, I want her clothes, her house, her purses and to jump her husband just for the day.

Just trying Proactiv treatment and taking a Proactive step in my life may be the way to go????????

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