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Monday, August 08, 2005

Infertility stabs someone else....

I know I am overly sensitive to the pregnancy factor around me, I also know that some, not all, view my feelings as invalid as my infertility is secondary. With the big BBQ looming near, I was speaking on the phone with my friend, confirming her attendance. She and her husband have been together since they were 15 years old, they are now 32 and 33 years old. They have been married for some 4+ years now. Ever since TTC. We see eye to eye on lots of things, other friends and so on. We share a common thread of TTC and experiencing some level of infertility. We share stories and vent on one another. Sad thing is that some 6 million couples experience some level of infertility, that's 1 in 7 couples, why then do I have 4 friends and my self experiencing this? These were not people I sought out as friends as a common thread but these were my friends.
My Conversation with her is: C says to me " Well are R & C coming?" I said "uhhhhh, no, actually they will be away" Knowing full well what was to come as my DH had spoken to R earlier in the day, and had confirmed he would not be attending and that he and his wife of less than 1 year, and girlfriend of less than 1 year before marring, was pregnant.
C says "did they tell you?" I said "yeah I heard." She then goes on to say...."do you know how we found out?" Of course I did not. "well they had us down for dinner...and just before dessert was served", "R says, hey we are pregnant, I know I am not shooting blanks, gotter knocked up on the first try!!!!" C then says she finished her coffee and they excused themselves and went home, all the while C wanted to vomit. My heart broke for my friend, earlier in the day at the news I had rolled my eyes and thought please Dear Lord, during this 2ww please, please....... but it hurt so much more for me to hear of my friends hurt than to hear someone else was pregnant other than me. It was probably better that I was not there that night, better because I would have lashed out, said something of truth yet in such a way that C and I would have felt better, yet would have hurt our friend. C spent 3 hours on the phone with me the night before my D & C, all the whle listening to my fears and so forth, all the while having her very own battle with infertility, all the while being MY friend. Why can't others be so considerate to ones feelings? Do you need to walk around with a sign on that reads...EXPERIENCING SOME LEVEL OF INFERTILITY...TREAD WITH CAUTION.....


  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger Ninotchka said…

    You know, it's not even about infertility. Comments like that are just so damned stupid. Oh you got her knocked up, did ya? What a f*cking STUD you are. Oh wait, no, forget that, you're a FREAKING GENIUS. Because we all know only geniuses can reproduce easily. Everyone else is just weak and stupid and "less than," right?

    I mean, give me a break. It's just a crass comment to make period. If I ever heard my husband saying ANYTHING like that to ANYBODY, I'd kick him in the balls. I feel sorry for your friend and I feel sorry for his wife for being married to such an insufferable cad. What a jerk!

    I'm done ranting now. lol

  • At 7:33 PM, Blogger Mandy said…

    I can so relate to this one. OMG. I am on a message board where one particular woman has been going on and on on and on about how "extremely fertile" she is and aobut her dh's "super sperm". Those are direct quotes. VOMIT


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