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Thursday, August 04, 2005

OK now is the time...

I have been avoiding my September 11th entry due to the fact that the subject is extremely upsetting to me, but now I feel it is the time. I was given a book by a friend of the family, titled, "September 12th, We Knew Everything Would Be Alright", written by school children in an east of nowhere sticks state, this book pissed me off tremendously, bitch at S2 and left it. But.....Guess what kids, all is not alright, people are GONE, parents and so forth, its not OK just cause you were not directy affected by it. And tonight as I sit here and blog surf I see a recommendation for a book regarding 9/11, I will not reference the book as I think it is a load of shit. Even one of the comment on Amazon stated that "it's not one of the glorious hero like book, glorifying the victims as heros." Well pardon my vulgarity but EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME!!!!!! One of those "victims" was my best friend, and he was a hero, he was a police officer doing his job and now he's gone.... Bottom line, so many loved ones are gone....write your fucking book about that. The morning of September 11, 2001 was horrifying, this all took place in full view from my home, up close, but not as horrifying to me as September 13, 2001 when my dear friends father was "afraid" to tell me that his only son was gone, afraid because I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and did not want to jeopardize my pregnancy. He said the words to me as he broke down in tears, "they can't find him" and I fell to my knees, and screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOO, my mother rushed from the house with DH and my mother screamed "NO NO NOT K!!!!" I prayed every night for weeks that he would emerge from the rubble alive, unlike so many of my prayers, the were left unanswered. The morning of 9/11 is burned in my mind, I can account every moment of it, down to what I had on that day, but the weeks and months following it are just as vivid, the stench, the F-16's flying overhead, the funeral and now the benefits and celebrations of my dear friends life. I know he is with me, I really do know this, he is my angel, tormenting me from above as he did in life. I love him just as much today as I did when we were 7 years old. And that is all I have to say about 9/11.

2 Comments:

  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    Amen. Thank you for being so honest. Even though I live a few hours from NYC, this was a very shocking day and I still remember like it was yesterday. My DH turned around from driving to work when he heard the news and picked up both me and our DD. It was a day to hug your loved ones close if you could.

    The news of London doesn't make us feel like it's quite over either. Makes us feel like we're just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    It won't stop me from going to NYC or anywhere else for that matter. We've been up to NYC twice since the 9/11. The last time was just this past June.

    I've actually been thinking about posting in my own blog about my anger at any terrorist who thinks hurting other people is doing the work of God, any God. No teachings of any God should be twisted into such a manner. I just wish everyone could see the beauty in every human life, and it makes me cry that some people don't see it.

     
  • At 7:09 PM, Blogger Mandy said…

    Your post leaves me speechless and in tears. I think he is with you as well because I have to believe that we never truly lose the ones we love. We just can't see them anymore.

     

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