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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The icing on my cake....

When things finally go my way, I promise you all if anyone even reads my blog I will post witty and humourous day to day goings on. I am in a very dark place right now....an extreme dump land. I have much to be thankfully for but feel like I may seriously be going crazy. I should be giving birth next month, yet it just ain't going to happen. I don't know if it will ever happen again.

I am not pregnant AGAIN this cycle. Yet lots of otehr people are, all around me of course. Today coworkers wife calls to see if I can get her 3rd child from the bus as she is at the MD, ass that I am ask "who is sick", no one is sick, I am pregnant, yes this is a blessing, she has one ovary and just a few months ago miscarried, so yes, I see that this is a blessing. I want to puke, cry and just go bury my head. Why am I so selfish? Why can't I get pregnant?

Why can't I seem to sit down and blog about the wonderous DD who I have, who is award winning in art? Who started preschool and is doing very well. Thank you Lord for my wonderful family, now how come I can't add to it. I really feel at this point another child will never come along.

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Off to be miserable while putting on a happy face for DD


  • At 3:47 PM, Blogger Mary Morgan said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger janii said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger LeggyP said…

    Ugh- I'm so sorry. It is so hard. And yes, your DD is wonderful, but that doesn't make the pain any worse.

  • At 8:05 PM, Blogger Sandy said…


    chat when you need to. i'm here.

  • At 7:26 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    I'm here too. I'm also surrounded by the unbelievably fertile, and yet not pregnant myself. I also keep hoping, keep trying to enjoy my 5-year-old DD, but considering how great she is...who wouldn't want to do it all over again???? I'm here for you, babe.

  • At 12:11 PM, Blogger Lindy said…

    I just found your blog through your comment on Leggy's Blog. It's so great to find more secondary infertility blogs out there.

    I can definitely relate to being hard on yourself about not just appreciating the child you have and about feeling the need to put on a happy face because you don't want your child to see what you're going through.

    Looking forward to reading through the archives and getting to know you!


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